Please, no slams, serious answers only, understanding please?

Married very long time with kids. I had affair many years ago due to both our faults really, he admits he neglected me and could see how I needed someone as he was not there for me. We separated almost a year. Then got back together many years ago and had more children. Now all these years later, I found profiles he put on the net two years ago that I just found out about 4 months ago. We are still together but it has been hard because when we got back together I have been faithful and a good Mom and wife. We have had rocky times due to a tough teen, but husband says he did profile because I accused him of cheating when he traveled for his job too many times. He says it wasn't a good reason to do it, that he was angry at me and it was an ego boost. Could that be true? I have absolutely no evidence otherwise of any particular woman or that he cheated. I know he might still have, but he swears on his kids' lives he didn't. I did accuse him, but he wasn't spending any time or with me. So he said he got angry and did the profiles but never acted on them. Now I don't have any reason to believe he is doing anything, he seems sorry and is being attentive to me and the family now since I found out. I felt that our reconciliation years ago was a new committment that I kept and he didn't despite any obstacles we faced, such as our tough teen that we had disagreements about. I have no self esteem right now and I think that he wants other women constantly. I am sick inside and I just don't know how to move on at this point as it is all fresh and new and neither of us wants a divorce. We both say we want to work it out and we both say we love each other. We have a lot invested in the marriage and I just don't see us apart. But how do I cope?